Part I
For a long time after graduating I felt like I didn't know shit. This decreased my self esteem, which worsened my depression which in turn made it that much harder to read or learn anything. Concentration went to the dogs, and attention span decreased to -∞. It was a vicious cycle.
Then I would end up bingeing shows. 30 hours no sleep, no food, I would finish multiple seasons in less than 2 days. This only made me feel worse that I wasted so much time rather than doing anything productive. A ton of self-loathing. But I was addicted. This too right before exams and presentations out of procrastination.
I had completely stopped following news (something I did religiously as a kid, out of interest) and I knew precious little about what was going on. Hell, I even stopped following cricket, which I was crazy about.
It is true, depression can reduce your IQ by a good 10-20 points. It can be hard to learn new things when you are too busy trying to not kill yourself, even when learning new things is one of the treatments.
However, I had developed an interesting habit during all of this - After finishing the series, I used to read up about the show's cast, characters, biographies, all sorts of random stuff - on wikipedia. At the time I didn't think much of it, only considered it more time waste - but I let my curiosity roam free, look up whatever piqued my interest, and pretty soon one wikipedia page became 10.
Part II
It took me many years to realize, that I wasn't wasting time! Sure I wasn't studying for my test and getting decent grades, but my brain was passively learning, absorbing tons of stuff, even though I didn't realize at the time - stuff that has been quite useful in life and that led to personal growth.
For example, I was one of those who thought you should only have sex after marriage, only do it with one person in life, not date multiple people. I thought ill of porn of western culture - so much so that I couldn't even watch friends, I was so disgusted by it. But starting second year, as I watched more and more stuff, and approached content with curiosity minus the stigma and judgement, my perspective began to change.
I learnt that love was complicated, that you could love more than 1 person in your lifetime, that you are yet to meet the love of your life, that heartbreak sucks but a breakup is not the end of the world. This was important because 19 year old me was punishing and loathing myself way too much following breakups. I was also treating my depression with stories of hope, stories full of laughter, which kept me going even when depression was at its worse.
I learnt English fluently - mostly listening. I went from needing subtitles to differentiating between American, British and Australian accents. Then southern and the horrid NJ accents and even Irish and Scottish. When I moved abroad, I had no problem understanding what was being said - one less barrier to overcome. I have had friends who struggled quite a bit following lectures or even what was being said in a one on one meeting, and needed to record everything and re-listen at 0.5x speed. I also learnt tons of new words, pronunciations, phrases and cultural references. I don't need to translate things in my head, I can think in both Hindi and English.
I was particularly interested in period pieces. Over 8 years I saw so many biopics, shows and docudramas and read about them on wiki that I am quite a history buff now, even to the point of being an obnoxious know-it-all :D I can list the names of British Kings & Queens from Edward the IV in the 1400s to Queen Elizabeth the II :P I am working on the first millennia right now :P I have learnt quite a bit about European History especially that of France, Spain, Italy, Germany, Russia and I am still growing in knowledge.
A king could be the hero in one show but a villain in another. Was Caesar a hero, a necessary evil, or an egotistical tyrant? Watching history from multiple perspectives taught me to consider looking at things from different sides, to ask questions and helped me get past my own cognitive dissonance. Now when I judge and dislike someone for their point of view, I take a step back and try to see where they are coming from, what their background is.
I learnt a lot about the geopolitics of the 20th century and I am still learning . All this from watching tv shows and movies :P that began with 'The Tudors' ;) in my third year at BITS. History is not just dates and war and the rise and fall of empires, but also how ordinary people of all classes lived - something Austen, the Bronte sisters, Dickens and Twain have documented beautifully. During a fellowship interview, I was asked why people my age were interested in Jane Austen, what did I see in it? To which I replied that I find it fascinating how similar ordinary people are - that people in two different cultures (English and ours) centuries apart spoke, thought, behaved and socialized in shockingly similar ways.
I learnt what sex really was. While I knew how babies were born since I was 10, but even at 20, I didn't fully understand the mechanics of it (facepalm!). I didn't know what went where, and I was positively freaked out when I found out. I understood what rape was, why it was so awful, why victims ended up in the hospital :'(
But ... I also learnt about the many many facets of sex, that it is a pretty normal and natural thing to do, that there is no shame in it, that our societies perspective on it is misguided and fucked up, and my taboo and stigma slowly started to dissolve. SATC isn't the full story but still, useful education for a noob.
I found out that 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' was the story of my life.
That in part, my depression was rooted in the events of my childhood and that I needed interventions. This was the beginning of slowly learning how to be the life of the party after a lifetime of being a Wallflower - a silent observer.
I became more comfortable about homosexuality, how gay stereotypes were inaccurate and harmful.
Part III
coming soon ...
