I Know Something of Grief

I think most people in your life can sympathize
And maybe some pity you, I don't know
But not me. Not me!
I empathize
Because I know something of grief

The loss of a childhood

From a hillbilly elegy mother
The loss of a sister 

Who was never allowed to be born
The loss of my innocence

Taken by my own blood

The loss of my high school math teacher
In a freak road accident
The suicide of my 9th grade boyfriend

Who was physically abusive

The traumatic death of a most beloved niece
Who was a rare joy 
In an otherwise bleak childhood
Who we never knew was an addict
Who we never knew was cutting herself

The loss of my baby bunny Mowgli

From my negligence and depression

The only one who ever made me feel loved

Some things in life are perhaps more important 

Than dating and relationships
Things like compartmentalizing grief
So we can live, laugh and love again
So we can experience joy
So we can sleep

I know something of grief
No one ever told me, how heavy it is

How exhausting it is to carry
I can see the invisible weight, dragging you down

And I also see the strength you have had to grow

To keep carrying on

There is no moving-on from grief

It takes resilience to carry forward

I can see yours, and I respect it!

I know something of loss

I have lost a lot that is never coming back

It is not my fault, I did nothing wrong

And I know that now
There is nothing I could have done different
That could have saved any or all

I don't pity myself, so I don't pity you either

I recognize your strength, because I have it too
I know my weight, and I feel yours too

I know something of grief

The hole in your heart is just love all pooled up
Grief is just love that has no place to go

I have a lot of compartmentalized grief
And that is why, I have a lot of love to give